Yet Without a Wedding Dress

As I write this, I'm on my way to Wyoming. I'm in a wedding this weekend. When I told my co-worker where I was going, he said, "Again? What is it with you and weddings lately?" Seeing that I was the MOH for one this January, my cousin got married last weekend, I'm MOH in another this weekend, and now I'll be a bridesmaid again this June, YES, it does seem like all I do is attend/participate in weddings. But, hey, 'tis the season! That's what spring is for, isn't it? Falling in love, getting hitched, all that yucky, sappy stuff...

People also ask when I'm planning on getting married. (Let me just say, though, I don't see how a girl can "plan on getting married." What, am I the one proposing? Are they just waiting for me to choose one of the endless suitors lined up (you know, the non-existent, twenty-some guys who just think I'm the bee's knees) and get married tomorrow? C'mon; let's be real.)

But it has left me to some thinking. Mama got married at 19, and for the longest time, I thought I would, too. That was "the age" to be married at, and if I wasn't married by then... well, that just wouldn't happen. It seemed to be the trend once two of my friends got married at 19 as well, and another at 18.

And yet, here I am. Freshly 20, and not even engaged. Am I disappointed? Not really. Because as I watched Sara say "I do" a couple of years ago, and then Bethany this January, and I am now headed to Wyoming to stand next to Brie as she gets hitched, there was and is this peace of, "Yes, this is perfect...for them." So many well-meaning people pat me on the arm and say, "Don't worry, sweetie, your time will come," as if seeing my friends getting married would suddenly make unmarried life absolutely unbearable. But instead I have grown even more confident! I wanna look at them like, "Are you crazy?? This is my life, and it is GREAT, thanks!"

Married life is perfect for these wonderful girls, and I couldn't be happier for them. But I know that I'm just not there yet.

And even though I have been, and am being, pursued in a relationship, doesn't mean that I'm dying for a ring on my finger. I don't have to fight for this contentment, either. Because I know the Author of Adventure. I know the Creator of Romance. So whether I am to be married in 6 months or 6 years, I know my life will be nothing short of full, and full of life.

Lots of people talk about surrender. Most of the time, I find, it's in the context of discontentment/contentment, or fear, or anxiety and the need for control. They say, "Just submit your life to the Lord. It may not be easy, and He'll take you through many trials. But it just refines you further." Yes and amen! But I think sometimes singles and unmarried folks don't realize that marriage is the greatest trial and the greatest refining process some of us will ever encounter. Marriage is hard.

So, yes. Walk in surrender. Walk in submission to Him, because He won't lead you astray. But I know for me, I am totally okay with not going through the refining fires of marriage until I'm sure He's leading me there, because it is not a short or easy journey.

All that said, own your life. Rock the married-ness/singleness/un-married-ness of your life, and take pride that it's yours.