We spent a day in Ghent; her, the camera and I. And as we went home and went through the pictures we took, the conversation that ensued should not be as common as it is amongst girls:
I was in awe of her gorgeous-ness, while she critiqued her every pose.
I complained about which angles made me look fat, while she raved about how beautiful I was.
It's such a shame that this is the case. We feel completely inadequate to love ourselves.
You'll probably look at these pictures and probably agree with me : she's beautiful.
You'll probably also agree with her: I'm amazing.
But our own eyes disagree.
I think I'm sick of beautiful girls who are screaming hate at themselves.
And also realizing I'm one of them.
I'm sick of looking at the mirror and shrugging, "Good enough," as I walk away.
I'm sick of seeing girls walking with their head down and the shoulders forward as if their insecurity were a weight around their necks.
I'm sick of these young women feeling like they have to fit into some impossible mold just to be worth anything or get any man's attention.
I feel helpless in the face of this beast, Insecurity.
I know the God that's bigger than him,
and I know I don't have to stoop to his level, and play his games.
I am not a captive.
But I'm not completely sure how to be free.
Most times, the hardest person to love is oneself. I think this is because we know ourselves, inside and out, better than any other human on the planet; we know the good, the bad and the ugly. Self-criticism can be a disease if it gets out of hand. However, there is One that knows us and understands us even better than we ourselves possibly could.
ReplyDeleteIf He loves us despite what He sees, why is it so hard for us to do the same?
As for this post of awesomeness, I agree with you AND Allie. Both y'all are freakin' gorgeous.
XD I love you beautiful ladies to death! <3 <3 <3
~Lito
I loved your post Casey! Honesty and boldness...two great qualities about your blog. I've struggled with insecurities (body image)my whole life but Jesus has broken and continues to break those chains off from the inside out. I think that filling myself with who He is and then who He says I am became the catalyst for me to let go of the things that don't allow me to be 100% free before God. There's beauty in the process.
ReplyDeleteWHAT THE FREAKING CRAP, CASEY HEARD. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. YOU ARE PERFECT AND SO IS ALLIE AND MY HEART IS EXPLODING, BYE.
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes. my heart just breaks to see the girls around me looking in the mirror and hating what they see. I use to be so totally consumed with my appearance it tore me apart and drove me to starving myself. It's only by God's grace that now I am healthy and happy and satisfied again. Yes, it is still an internal struggle. For me, when I feel ugly or simply not good enough, I try and think about my value in Christ and how there are many different definitions of beautiful, and I was made to be not 'perfect'-but perfectly unique.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful Casey!