There have been a lot of changes in my life lately.
I've been trying to figure out how I summarize the way I'm feeling lately, or what the Lord is teaching me right now. I know He is teaching me obedience, both full and immediate. But it feels like I'm running something long and strenuous and I'm starting the feel the beginnings of a cramp in the back of my calves.
I am very out of shape when it comes to obedience in the Lord.
Because it's not necessarily physical obedience I'm learning, but a mental and emotional obedience. He's teaching me to have the heart that says "yes, Lord," even when I don't understand, and even when it's a constant, mental, attitude battle.
I'm learning that when He says, "Don't touch that; it'll burn you," that it's definitely better to listen. I learned once the hard way, and, while I know it won't be the last time I learn the hard way, I want to put off the next time as long as I can.
It's hard to obey the Lord. It's hard to admit that someone knows how to live your life better than you do. It's hard to admit that you're wrong and small and childlike. It's hard to run when you're really out of shape.
It becomes easier when I remember that this life isn't about me. At all. But it's all about knowing a beautiful King, and doing anything to show the world how amazing He is. When His glorification is the only reason I live my life, every struggle feels a little easier, every "yes, Lord," comes a little bit faster, and every cross you bear is a little more beautiful.
And if the purpose of my life is to look more and more like Him so that the world sees more and more of Him - which, as a Christian, it is - then doesn't He know what He's doing? Doesn't He know more about looking like Himself than I do? Or living like Himself? Or loving like Himself?
I can trust Him to lead me in how to be more and more like Him. I just have to say, "Ok, let's go; I'm with You, I'm following You, and I trust You. All the way."