Nobody wants to talk about their insecurities. But that’s exactly what I’m going to do right now. Not because I need the attention. Because, honestly, who wants their insecurities pointed out on the internet? I’d rather ya’ll just forget I had imperfections at all (which, as I've talked about before, I'm still learning about). But I'm just gonna be straight-up for like, five minutes.
Because that’s what happened. All day I was constantly assaulted by hateful thoughts toward myself. Every mirror screamed, “YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, AND YOU WON’T BE. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF? COME TAKE A LOOK. YOU’RE NOTHING SPECIAL. YOU’RE AWFUL.” I tried all day to block it out, but it ended with me in tears at 2 a.m., too depressed and discouraged to sleep, and I just let the accusations hit me while I sat there by myself. I hated myself, and I hated that I didn't have an answer for the hateful voices in my head.
I AM NOT MY APPEARANCE.
If there were some odd way that you could take away my physical body without killing me, I would be no less me. Because my body is not my definition. It’s a part of me, but it’s not who I am. It is not my identity.
As "Casey Garland Heard," I am a lot of things besides my body. I am a singer; I am a writer; I am a thinker; I am a loud laugher; I am a leader. I imagine; I dream; I love; I speak; I feel. I have a personality, a specific tone to my voice, and intrinsic spiritual value that cannot be stripped from me, no matter how I look.
“You are the one who created my innermost parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb,” (139:13). He didn’t just design me physically; He designed me entirely.
YOU are beautiful because YOU are beautiful. Your body is simply the package.
I'm still learning. And I'm not gonna give up on learning. Because I'm sick of hating myself.
"I’m sick of mirrors screaming hate
I’m sick of girls resigned to a fate
of those like our mothers
hunching our shoulders
Because we’ve had all we could take.
But I want the confidence to stand."1/21/14
Let's kick this thing called Insecurities. Let's have the bravery to look those ugly accusations in the face and say, "You don't know who I am. Because if you knew who I was, you wouldn't dare accuse the Daughter and carefully-designed Masterpiece of the King."