I got to see her tonight. But as I left to go home, I was almost surprised at the sadness I felt, the pain. It wasn't a sharp, stabbing pain, but it was like my heart suddenly had this gaping hole,
a vacuous space that consumes it self, eating away at the edges and expanding its borders. It wasn't something I was expecting to feel, especially since we already have plans to see each other next January.
However, as I drove home, barely listening to the pop rappers on my radio, I began to think of the beauty of it all.
The beauty of holding, and letting go.
Like breathing in, and breathing out.
Even though this is painful and uncomfortable, I wouldn't give up this friendship that has been mine for this season.
So I kind of let the empty painful sensation hover over my soul for a few moments, as I drove.
One line in a song about "touching millions of lives," interrupted my train of thought with my new one:
every person we interact with - whether on a personal level or in passing by - we leave a fingerprint on their lives.
We have touched their lives. Something that was a part of us has become a part of them; and likewise, something that was part of them has become a part of our lives.
It's quite fascinating, if you think about it... That as you smile at someone, it connects you to them. You both were a part of that scene, you both have that memory stored in some distant corner of your brain, you both played a part. As you read this, it connects you to me. You feel my thoughts, know my heart, hear my voice. We have both interacted - I wrote; you read. This is part of both of our memories. My fingerprint is on your life.
This friend of mine, with as little time as I had with her, has left a fingerprint of hers on my life. Nothing happened in these past few months that could be defined as a "life-altering" moment. But I'm sure she has changed my life, in small, little ways only a friend can. For instance, I went to be with her after work instead of going home.
Course of life = changed. But just slightly.
See what I mean?
Maybe we'll be the kind of friends that stay in touch forever. Maybe I'll never see her again.
Regardless of the future, and regardless of the pain of seeing her go, I'm glad I have let her into my heart. I am thankful that in some small ways, we've been able to share in each others lives.
I'm conquering fears.
I share this to hopefully bring new light to friendships like these. Friendships that are only here for a season or a moment. Momentary friends.
Cherish your momentary friends.
Thanks, Enid, for bringing your spark of being into my life. I like you, and am thankful for you. And I can't wait to come see you and Guatemala one day :)