Even If.

"I will be glad and rejoice in Your love,

for You saw my affliction

and knew the anguish of my soul."

-Psalm 31:7

It's incredible.

He knew the anguish of my soul. Which means He knows it still.

Knows it.

He sees it, He feels it, He knows it like His own. 

That's such love.

Not only that, but it's a love that never fails, is ever-present, and unconditional. Which means, no matter where I am, or whatever excuse I have to mope and be ungrateful,

that I have an even more powerful, a far more wonderful, excuse to worship.

No matter where I am, where I've been, what I've done, or how obstinate and ungrateful I have been, His love is still there - sweet, comforting, overwhelming, incredible.

He always cares.

"I will exalt You, O LORD..." (Ps. 30:1)

I find that more and more often, when I'm on the verge of slipping into another wave of despair, or ungratefulness, or self-pity, He whispers,

"Even if? Even if, Casey?"

Will I worship even if I don't feel Him?

Will I be thankful even if today felt disastrous?

Will I praise Him even if I feel absolutely drained, completely empty, and can't see a single ray of sunshine?

In light of His goodness I bring my heart into worshipful submission; yet I find that the next day even less goes right and it becomes even harder to answer the question. But I have the hope that this will create in me a refined character, one that has the ability to be thankful in all circumstances. 

Even if it's bleak. 

Even if it appears hopeless. 

Even if my heart is being torn to bits. 

Even if my world is crumbling.  

Even if I don't understand what's going on.

He always cares. He is always good. He loves so well. And I always have reasons to rejoice. Because He is my Rock, my Steadfast Protector, my Faithful Friend who will never give me less than I need to thrive.