Today might by called, by some, a perfect fall day in terms of the weather. The wind is cold, and persistent, yet the sun's warmth still penetrates through the cool to reach my skin.
Today was also one of the rare days that I got to check the mail before the kids did. I took a leisurely stroll down are long driveway, in a T-shirt and the only pair of pants I own (and only because they were given to/stollen by me), and enjoyed the day. The concrete was deliciously warm on my bare feet.
I sat indian-style on my delicious driveway, midway back on my stroll home, to read a letter from a friend. Then I laid on my back, and stared at the nothingness above me, doing my best to focus on the warmth of the sun rather then the cold of the wind.
The deepest blues of the sky are one of my favorite things. I like to imagine I could just lay suspended high up there, surrounded by the nothingness. Indeed, it was literally nothing today; not a bird flew above, nor was the moon on its lonely trek across.
What would it be like, I wondered, if my flat world was turned upside-down, and I simply fell into the blue?
It would not be a fast, terrifying fall, but more of a floating sort of fall, I think. I would throw my arms out, close my eyes, and let my freedom slowly become a reality to my mind as I felt the blue rush past my face.
That's kind of what it's like for me; life, that is. As if I'm slowly, gracefully falling into some sort of blue nothingness. But it's not scary. It's comforting, in a way. And beautiful. Because what is in the sky, surrounded an embedded in all its beauty? The Sun.
So this lonely, graceful, floating may have a purpose after all. Because falling into the sky, following the guidance of where I'm led, regardless of the feelings, or the look of the outcome, or the loneliness, can only lead to two places: higher, new, out-of-this-world places, or the sun.
And both could be pretty cool.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, You are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.