Over the summer Jon and I moved back to the area of Virginia both of us grew up in, which I'm pretty happy about. However, one flaw to the area is that I tend to get stuck at open brides.
There's one, annoying, tiny bridge that always seems to be open when I need to get across. I've tried to figure out the schedule (like, does it open every hour on the hour?? every half hour?? every other hour???) but I cannot figure it out for the life of me.
So, naturally, it typically elicits a huff from my irritated heart, and I begrudgingly pull out my phone to waste a couple minutes on Instagram or something while I sit at the open bridge.
One time, the bridge had opened and closed, and yet no one seemed to move. As the other lane started coming over the bridge, a couple of people hollered to me, "the guy at the front of your line
fell asleep in his car!"
Lol.
My luck.
Somehow, my entire life feels like getting stuck at bridges.
Because it doesn't matter how "perfect" my timing is, or how hard I've worked to get to the bridge, I always seem to get a little bit stuck.
In school: barely bringing my grade up to a B- (I was only taking one class! #pathetic).
In blogging: feeling like I will never have that break through, and forever be trying to explain to people that it's a lot of work to keep blogging, and why I keep doing it if I'm not getting paid.
In relationships: connecting with people after I got married has been weird and difficult and I'm not really sure how to do it yet... (lol)
I feel like this is the time I should be "arriving" in a lot of areas. I'm 22, I've been in school for four years now, and been blogging for 4.5. Shouldn't I "have the hang of things?" Shouldn't I be "crossing bridges" and heading into new opportunities like nobody's business??
But I'm feeling stuck.
And I've been thinking that it was because I was doing something wrong, or not doing something I was supposed to do. Or maybe the guy at the front of the line fell asleep!
But now I'm realizing, that sometimes bridges just aren't available to be crossed. Sometimes doors aren't open. Sometimes the opportunities that you thought would be here by now just simply aren't.
It's revealed a pride in my heart I didn't know I had, because my instant response is "but God, this timing is perfect!" or, "don't You notice that I'm ready for this?? Where are you?"
"Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD,
and my right is disregarded by my God"?
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
His understanding is unsearchable."
Isaiah 40:27-28 (italics added)
How could I - as finite and human as I am - question God - as infinite and unsearchable as He is?
Not only that, but a wise, infinite, unsearchable God who loves me more than I could imagine???
I have such little patience, but more than that, I have such little faith.
"He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has not might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary...
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:29-31 (italics added)
These last three verses are typically well-known, but it is not typical for them to be read in the earlier verses, in context of God telling the Israelites,
"Don't you remember who I am? Don't you remember who you are to me?
Why are you complaining? Why are you questioning?
Have I ever let you down?"
Bottom line...
I only get impatient & lose faith when I forget who God is,
or when I forget who I am to Him.
Because when I remember how good and wise and big He is,
and how incredibly loved I am by Him,
waiting is ok.
Waiting is no longer empty.
In fact, waiting becomes another opportunity to get to know Him.
And that makes waiting awesome.
So to answer my own question: Is waiting awesome?
If you see it as God withholding something from you, it might not seem awesome.
But if you see it as just another place to experience God and learn something about His heart you've never experienced before? It becomes awesome.
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There was one time I got stuck at the bridge with my little sister, and I hardly noticed how long it took to sit there. I hardly noticed the wait because we just sat and chatted and laughed and kept spending time together!
Waiting at an open bridge ain't so bad when you get to spend a few extra minutes with one of your best friends...
And I want to be so caught up in "hanging out" with Jesus that I don't even know that I'm "stuck at the bridge."
Do you like waiting?
(Linking up with some awesome parties here)
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